Wednesday, January 20, 2010

wahahahah!! MATLAB u SUCK!!



wahaha!! finally, i successfully come out with the Matlab programme for basic Boundary Elements Method! YES!!!!! bet my good kharma earned by treating Karen & gang to Ayam Penyet had gave me the extra unknown source of energy for debugging that irritating script!! whaahah!!! finally, i can meet prof ang and show some real results!



this kuku karen, everyday juz stone in the library, never study also can get 4.2 for GPA. its either she's smart or CBC course is uber easy. good for her, scored above 4, and i lose my bet, and the tower defense party got big deep fried chicken thighs for dinner.

anw, NTU profs suck to the core. i had a real hard time finding help for Matlab, and somehow couldn't get any throughout the entire Mechanical Engine division. despo me went to source for help from other places, and little nice tanya irntoduced this prof who teaches Matlab in Maths faculty. so i emailed her with my problem and she replied:

Dear Chye Kiat,

May I suggest you go to the university library to look up books on MATLAB. If you need further help, you could ask around -- your classmates or graduate students or research staff in your division.

We do have graduate students and researchers who are familiar with MATLAB. After looking up from MATLAB books, if you can’t get help from your school, let me know, I will ask some graduate students to meet up with you.

Try again!

Geok Choo

wah kao! she thinks mechanical department teaches nursery kids ar? if i can find help in my division, i would long have done so right? u think i'm mute? got mouth but dunno how to ask around? I'M ASKING YOU! DIDN'T U REALISE? damn irritated! dunno where she got her doctorate from!

PUI!

Saturday, January 16, 2010

last semester



1st week of the final semester is somehow not enjoyable at all... me, struggling not to be drowned by the thundering waves in the open sea of FYP, praying for a MatLab pro to come save my ass. yep, its the final semester and i'm just like everyone else, trying to secure a job before graduation. somehow, i really like this pic taken of me, by jasmine at the library. didn't know that she got a hidden talent for photography.

been browsing through the mails sent by the school for career opportunities and composing resume for the different positions, trying my best to hook the HR's attention bout how heavenly i am despite my lousy grades. doing what i like is important, but having a good starting pay is just as critical! spend some time goggling the salaries of jobs that many of us once dreamt of as a gullible kid.



haha, had some interesting findings! the figures above are the average salaries of established personnels in the various jobs over 2006 to 2009. me, a mechanical engineer to be, was real sad when i did up the excel sheet, realising that i'm going to enter a low-paying industry... sob sob.. when i was young, i thought that i'm gonna be an architect, as i'm real good with LEGO! haiz... why didn't i try harder to fulfil my dream, at least i'll be around the mid-table for the salary scale.



not to be surprised, surgeons are disgusting big-time earners! all they need to do, is to pray for illnesses to fall upon human beings, the more the merrier! all they need to do, is to lie through their teeths, convincing us that we will recover under their knives! even if we got pushed out of the theatre with our hearts stopped pumping, the money still gets into their pockets! roar!!

looking at the graph, exchange dealers and brokers seems like a not bad job too! averaging at S$12k over the years, so regretful that i didn't do a business degree! even for personal bankers, in the past, they earn peanuts just like any other engineers, but dunno for what rotten reasons, their pay get soar-high after the economic crisis!



while waiting for ruyan at boonlay station, got inspired when i saw this video rental stall! wahahaha! i'm a proud member of Triumph Winn k, since 2005! when i first joined and start being a Korean-Drama-Pro, there's only one outlet at Hougang Mall lor! then in early 2007, lady-boss tell me they will be opening their second outlet at White Sands. within 4 years time, other then the earlier 2, outlets are opened in Katong, Tiong Bahru, Paya Lebar, Woodlands, 2 in Yishun, and last to be added, is this one in Boonlay! apart from my Phua 85 kopitiam business, think i should sideline to do VCD rental too! since i'm alreay such a successful auntie-killer, the more i should make use of my inert talent to earn more than the specialised surgeons! not only get to watch drama, can earn money out of them too, wah, double the happiness!

Friday, January 1, 2010

welcoming 2010

nicely, i started e new year at e 3.2km mark of my 10km run, juz happened so that there's a GRC 歌台 countdown across e street of e running track. yep, party-ing is not my cup of tea. every x'mas or new year, i'll simply spend it at home either sleeping or indulging myself within e world of youtube!

looking back, time really flies. if i am to live to e age of 75, 1/3 of it had passed, & out of e list of things which i had set out to accomplish in life, seems like none has been done. nonetheless, i shall recap and reflect on e past decade of my life on e new year's nite.

2000
woohoo! i'm finally wearing long pants to sch! its a symbol of almighty in zhonghua sec! wearing shorts simply marks u as a BOY; u dun get to play soccer on e basketball court, u gotta make way for those in long pants to cut-queue during recess breaks & u cant wear ankle socks! sec 3 life is crazy, nobody gives a shit bout studies. after sch, its either play soccer at bishan/serangoon/ang mo kio or play Counter-Strike/Starcraft at LAN shops. making collection of e bus no. plates at e back of double-deck buses was a in thing back den!

2001
e year that i turned 16. unlike e rest who had extravagant celebration over their 21st birthday, which marks e start of their adulthood & freedom, guess mine had long started back den. it was e year which i first owned a mobile phone, i bought it myself, earning it by selling cansdrinks at a stall in e pasar malam, a NOKIA 8250, first blue LCD phone. 'O' levels was e big thing of e year, i did well, 6A1s, 1A2 & 1B4, proud of my sch, real sad to leave e stress-free secondary sch life, really glad that i made it to AJC.

2002
as many remember e year 2001 wif e terrorists declared war on e Americans, it also started e trend of having terrorism topics asked in General Paper for 'A' levels. osama shocked e world, luckily not mine, & i happily embarked on my ODAC career, first in NY OAC, follow by AJ ODAC. somehow i have no affinity wif my classmates & fellow ODACians were pillars of my JC life. loved u all, both from NY & AJ. & yes, LIM KOK WEE, this bastardy name, i'll remember & bitch about him for life.

2003
outbreak of SARS had kept all singaporeans off e streets, but that did not deter us from mounting Mt Kinabalu. haha, 想当年,年少气盛, went up e summit at 3 degrees celcius, only in a singlet. haha, act hero... my frozen nipples almost fell off! thru ODAC, i get to know e class of 02/02, & wif them, i started playing basketball! wahahah! its really sad to be in a class where none of e guys play any sports, i juz cant click wif them... all thanz to my ODAC mates, that i survived thru my torturous years in AJC... non mihi solum..

2004
well, every singaporean male gotta go thru this, & i shall do it wif much zeal, National Service. some think that its real suay to be posted to Naval Diving Unit, while others took pride in it. like wat it is stated on e ceiling beam of e cookhouse of NDU, 欺山莫欺水, bully moutain, but dun bully sea, its really not easy to be a naval diver, try complaining bout muscle aches, u get more. i still remember wat my trainer once said, 'what is pain? pain is a sign of weakness leaving your body.' whoever went thru it, u can stand upright when being called upon 'e special breed of man'. hellweek was real hell, went thru it once, wun try e second. i never knew wat my body can do till i join NDU. Diver's Pride, HOOYA!

2005
had a fantastic year wif 23rd batch, finally passed-out from e 11 months of trainee phase & 60 plus of us marched on to e second half of our NS career in our respective units. unit life is heaven, we lived like king, book-in at 8am, go for run, play soccer, have lunch, go for swim, book-out at 4pm, & play DOTA every nite! loved my batch boys, got to know them inside out, even e number of moles on their dick, really had a care-free life.

2006
moving on to a new phase of life, going back to e path of education, i entered NTU & once again, re-engaged back in ODAC career. as much as i bitch about how shag ODAC can get, i never once regreted about joining it. i had a hard time learning e NTU ODAC culture, i din join e orientation camp, dunno e pple, dunno its structure, not even sure of my direction in ATC 07 comm. but uni life is very high paced, so fast that we cant even stop for a minute to breathe, less think. moving into hall, attending classes, joining e club, before u know it, exams ended. e pace was crazy.

2007
much like e global economy crisis, my life was also went hay-wired in that year. learning curve was mountainous, & was made much steeper & rougher wif my strong sense of arrogance, pride & ego. completed RAT & ATC 07, did a half-fuck job as CGL for FOOT 07, hardly a VP for e Club. i was out to make a change, i want to prove myself, i want to apply wat i've got, to tell wat's right & wrong, but everything came so fast, so sudden, that even my rooting values starts to grey. i've gotta re-analyse,re-think & re-value myself & everything that was once so familiar around me. i guess, its part of growing up. & i know, i have to grow up fast, to serve e Club, to serve all those who placed trust in me.

2008
juz before i tot my ODAC career had ended wif grace, i picked it up again, taking e ATC 09 team to bring back e lost event. it was a tough decision to make that move, but i felt, if e event is to be brought back, nobody else is more suitable than myself to run it & so i did it. for e past 3 sems, results had only been so-so, its time to buck up, die die also muz get 2nd-class (lower) for my engineering degree. mug like dog for that year, wif good luck, grades had improved wif e hours that i spend hiding in library 2 wif prof yap yong han.

2009
started e year wif internship at Leica, well it sux big time working in a firm adopting e japanese work culture. 'Kanban' & 'Kaizen' are words that i never ever want to hear again! having to run ATC while doing attachment is real hell, i gotta read emails thru windows that show no more than a line, scrolling line by line to evade e sharp eyes of my bosses. phew! thank goodness, wif all e good kharma that we had stored over all e years, we got a wonderful team which led e event to a great success. finally, i put a 'fullstop' to e ODAC career, n its prime time that i start searching for my first full-time job in e working world. hope my good kharma is not fully drained.

woah, i've typed for 3 hours.. LOL. looking back at e past decade, think i am well geared up for my working world. within e next decade, there's so many things that i will want to accomplish; a family of my own, to buy my own house & car, to be rich enough to do wat i want & to have a driving license. in 20 years to come, i want my first PHUA 85 kopitiam in hougang & have my wife well seated at home losing away money in mahjong games!

haha, every new year, pple start making their new year's resolutions. i shall have mine too! every birthday, i wished to grow to be more 沉熟稳重, find a girlfriend, grow taller, become a gentlemen & bla bla... nah... shall not be greedy this time round, juz one thing will do:

I will reframe from using vulgarities unless its necessary.

whole entry, i used none. in 2010, i wish all my frens, all e best.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

busy holiday!



'tau pok CK worth 8 pts!' - karen, beware.

apart from working on my FYP, did some ODAC stuff yet again for my last holiday... yep, finally its NTU's turn to host Adventure Jamboree (Adjam 2009), which is a joint event with all 4 uni's ODAC for the JC kids.. being part of e Club for all 4 yrs of my uni life, i'm definitely proud of wat e Club had achieved & where we stand in all various aspects & Adjam is e best chance to showcase them all, not only to e JC kids but also to our peers in NUS, SMU & SIM.



really 2 good thumbs up for e 10th FOOT comm for bringing great success to e event. though e team is young & time is really tight upon their ass, but e comm not only shown teamwork but also e zeal to excel & achieve, thus NTU ODAC stands proudly in front of all crowds.

personally, i would really wanna be fully involved in bringing about Adjam. u may not know how much it means to me, but for all e efforts that we had put in over e past few years, this is e best chance to hao lian to all other ODACs of wat we have, how can kuku me miss it? but sadly, i have to move on wif time & get my ass off. i'm really glad to see that e 10th FOOT comm, together wif e main comm & everyone else who played a part in it, had brought about such great success to Adjam, well presenting our Club to any others. thank you all so much.



met up at jeremy's place on 23rd to have a ATC 09 Xmas gathering, & yep, its steamboat AGAIN! haha! had a real good time ranting over ATC 06, 07 & 09, re-re-re-revisiting all e cock thing that had happened over e past few years wif denis, chong meng, ah gong, jeremy, yong han & shu hong... 我们真的老了...



think i've got e best gift of e nite! haha! bah kwa from ah gong! haha! i love bah kwa!! definitely it reminded us of chinese new year! yep, shall have another round of good meet up den! guys, get ready your $$$, cos e Ban-Luck king is me!! (i'm really god-like in it... as concluded by many, of why i'm still single, cos 情场失意,赌场得意)



think i gave away e best pressie too! e 小叮当 bathroom slippers is juz so damn uber cute & chong meng got it!



yet another departure on Xmas nite, this time, hui hui is off to scotland for 1/2 a year. next will be jean, sishan, issey & jun hua. sadly, my last sem in sch, & yet some of my good frens r simply away..



this holiday, in preparation of us graduating & not meeting up as we all move on from student to working life, i initiated e ODAC DOTA Premiere League, hoping that we will still meet up once in a month, juz to play some PC games at e LAN shop. its really fun to play like kids, shout off our lungs to coordinate e attack, slam e keyboard & mouse upon backstabed & badmouth each other after each nite of DOTA. to make things more interesting, i came out wif e stupid table which i really hates now... i only fucking got 9 points!!! ROARRRRR!!!!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

海派甜心



wahaha!! yet another great production by director 林合隆!! haha! bet his name sounds damn unfamiliar to e readers here right? lemme show u all e shows that were directed by him, from oldest to newest!



bet you all still remember this show back in 2005! <惡魔在身邊> which brought 賀軍翔 & 楊丞琳 to great stardom in 台湾偶像剧!



next is <转角遇到爱> by 羅志祥 & 小S! omg! super great hit of 2007! u muz be a dork for missing this! haha!! got my fav muz watch taiwan celebritry, 小猪!



another show in 2007, <放羊的星星>, a show by our long-lost childhood idol, 林志穎 with pretty korean actress Yoo Ha Na! though it wasn't a great hit as compared to other production of 林合隆, but i still enjoyed shows of e 'cry-cry' genre!



yea hey! end of 2007, e online poll, voted best on-screen couple of e year, in <惡魔在身邊>, 賀軍翔 & 楊丞琳 once again combined power in <换换爱>. i simply love shows by 楊丞琳!



combining taiwan all-time pretty boys, we have <篮球火> in 2008, with little-gals killer, 吴尊, lady-killer, 言承旭 & phua-killer, 小猪, u will die for not watching it! wat's best, its a whole show juz on basketball! no love & rubbish bullshit!



end of 2008, this director simply love to bring best on-screen couples together, and we have e all-time viewers fav, since <惡作劇之吻>, den <惡作劇2吻>, to <我的亿万面包>, with 林依晨 & 鄭元暢! haha! we simply love them like e rest of e taiwanese, chinese, japanese & koreans! 林依晨's acting, one word, UPs.



early 2009, another tear-driving show, <心星的淚光> by 言承旭 & super pretty 关颖. omg! damn sad show!! i love 'cry-cry' shows!!! juz like y i like korean dramas!

haha! bascially i watched almost all his production, & some i even watched them twice! Now! we have <海派甜心>, with 2 of my fav, 楊丞琳 & 小猪!



so wat's this show all about? haha! basically bout 小猪 who's damn freaking rich, with an over-protected childhood that that he knows no frens or played any games or sports, fearing that he will be kidnapped or injured since young. with dying-eager to earn n learn self-independency, he went to china, hang zhou, for university n get to know 楊丞琳, using his fake uber poor identity (feared that others knows his uber rich & got kidnapped in foreign land), who plays n punk-gal in sch! n yep... thru all e bla bla that this dork n punk fell in love.



punk-gal comes from a well-to-do family, & was forced to marry another rich man's son, not knowing that 小猪 is uber rich, her mother forced them to separate ways after 3 yrs of relationship. e same old shit in all dramas, lots of super coincidental coincidences that 小猪 tot that 楊丞琳 had ditched him for a rich man while 楊丞琳 tot that he had forgotten all his promises of waiting for her... that e 2 lovebirds separate ways thinking that they had been ditched by e other party... so, 小猪 returned to motherland, & turned playboy, ditching gals who hook on rich guys like himself, seeking revenge of his 1st love!

3 years later, they met, where 楊丞琳 turned a DJ, & 小猪 bought e radio station to seek his revenge on her, to hook her up with his real rich man identity n ditch her later! as now 小猪 introduced himself with his true identity, 楊丞琳 finds it hard to separate e new 小猪 from her long lost lover, they shared e same face but wif total diff. character which she totally hates! & yes, this is a story bout how 小猪 wins back his gal wif his real identity!



irritating smurk look + cartoony animation on 小猪's face when he come out of his masterplan on how to hook 楊丞琳 up!

wat's so nice, every scene that 小猪 did something that reminds 楊丞琳 of her lost lover is juz so touching!! haha! den 小猪 juz deny that he's not that dork and has never studied in china, making 楊丞琳 so damn sad, cos his looks simply reminds her of e lost him, which brought her so much pain! whahaha! i love such shows!!



e bemused face of 楊丞琳 when 小猪 said he that he once visited hang zhou before, with every inch of hope that this lookalike will be her long lost lover.

catch this show on http://www.youtube.com/user/acmilansoccer999#p/u/14/zKacSrgi36c every sunday 2300 k!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Last Holiday



moving on to e next terror, FYP!! OMFG!! trust me, this thing is no joke... rite after e exams ends & i'm fucking back in sch sitting in e long forgotten table in lee wee nam library... haiz... shall not complain & bla further... sick of myself whining bout it...



this is wat my whole FYP is all about... u never know that maths sucks till u see this man! & not juz once, its whole chunk of it, continuously for 65 pages... & somehow, dunno how, i'm supposed to turn all these unknown Greek figurines into computer script. anw, i spend like 8 hrs till i know wat e shit e above is all talking about... think u r a smart ass? try be an Engineer first. if my child will ever wanna do Engineering, he shall pay for his own sch fees.

monday evening while on e train back to sch, overheard an fugly gal's mindless conversation wif her parents. watever she says simply annoys me (probably if she's a chiobu, watever shit that comes out of her mouth will taste like honey)...

fugly gal: '我们读 diploma 的 hor,都是很 practical 的人,nerd 才读大学的'

firstly, i have no issues bout e practicality of diploma grads. secondly, among my engineering clique, 40% r from poly, so they r practical nerds? thirdly, e frens i made in NTU ain't nerds. forthly, look at your fuck face, doubt u can make it to e uni if u were to try 10 times harder. lastly, having fat hands & legs like yours, doubt u r any good in your 'practical' work.

really felt like giving her my hp no. so that in 5 years time, she can call to tell me she's e next Bill Gates, made it big wif Nanosoft without a degree in her pocket. i dun really think that i'm smart or anything big that i make it to uni, think its more about e effort & many other factors, but definitely, i guess all my frens will agree - Uni is not for e weak-hearted.

to hell wif whoever who ever once told us that, 'JC is e toughest, once u go to Uni, everything will be easy', sounds familiar rite?



anw... calendar is filled wif post exams activities, but e biggest surprise for myself is to get all wet & dirty on e day rite after my last paper. yep, went on recce for ATC 2010! woohoo~ i love doing ATC, its not juz about e sense of achievement derived, but e trill of finding an unknown land in our vibrant lion city! see e trails in e pics above, e next ATC team will make magic out of it!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

e fuck-up phone



and yes! i'm so gonna to bitch about my handphone as my first post after e exams! simply wat e fuck~! its such a disappointing product from sony ericsson... i've been using e brother series, T600i, & i simply love every part of it, high system stability, drop from level 3 yet it worked perfectly fine, etc, & esp. all e beautiful pics that were up on this blog, used to be e babies of my previous phone... & so, thinking that C902 is e big brother wif 5.0 Megapix, it will be way superior.. i was so damn wrong... all i can conclude... its a huanted phone!

this phone sux becos:
  1. e keypad is simply glued-on
  2. e outer skin is not casted-on, but simply pasted over using plastic skin which peels off on e 1st day of purchase
  3. e camera button contradicts wif e other buttons in its programming script (i gotta hold on to e camera button so that e rest can work)
  4. after e 4th visit for servicing at sony ericsson, e service gal claims that e phone is in perfect condition
now comes e interesting part...
  1. it switches off when i try to ans calls...
  2. pt. 1 does not happen when my mum calls
  3. it switches off when i wanna switch off e alarm
  4. 1/2 way thru my examination, it turns on on its own
  5. e alarm rings even when e battery is removed (zhang mei)
  6. it simply went on strike thru out e examination period
everything that can go wrong with a handphone, it all happened on mine... every part fails, less e superior Cybershot camera function... talking bout e nice pics... lemme share wif u all, a very interesting story: 'Pets of the Phua Family'



MAY
dunno y my dear eldest sis started her new hobby, called 'Fishkeeping'. basically, building & rearing aquarium fishes for viewing purposes. somehow her hobby, became everybody else, think i can term myself '养鱼达人' real soon.

for e start, we had 5 dunno-wat real small fishes & shrimps swimming in e tank. so small that jayren can't even find e shrimps, dad can't even sees them, mum claims that they r not even big enuff for her to 'bao bah zhang' (anw... they were claimed by my sis to be prawns).. after a month time... e fishes starts to die... its pandemic, all gone within 2 days... & so, everyone in e family begins to draw assumption for their sudden death...

according to e fish doctor, sis' bf, e fishes were not fed on a regular basis, so irregulatory in life has caused their death.. n e decomposed body of one contaminated e water, & poisoned e rest. since all of us r not home in e day, nor even in e nite, my poor retired dad shall adopt 5 more kids when my sis bought new fishes to replace e deads.

JULY
somehow, e fishes starts to die AGAIN! doctor came & diagnosed that e water quality is poor, hence e fishes got ill, suffering from poluted water...
  1. tar from my dad's smoking
  2. bacteria produced from e little snails
alrite, there's no way u can get dad to quit smoking, he will die e day he quits... so now we have to constantly spot & pick out these snails that r no more than 2mm in size from e plants... trust me, its a real tacky task upon me cos i got e best eyesight... everytime i tried to pluck out any that i saw, it was claimed that i accidentally killed e plants too, causing e oxygen composition in e water to drop, killing e fishes indirectly!

AUGUST
to think that everything that we need to do is done, e fishes dies AGAIN! so this time, e finger goes back to my dad... due to his aging eyesight, he's over-feeding them by scooping too much food! since sch has yet to start, i shall feed them... something new for me man, u can't feed fishes by simply throwing their food into e tank! guppies r top-eaters, e dunno-wat r mid-water eaters & e prawns r e bottom eaters.. so if i juz dump e food, not all gets to eat... u gotta use e tweezer, hold on to e food, n bring it to their mouths!

in this feeding process, i killed e fishes AGAIN! cos when i moved e tweezer through e water, i created great turbulance that e fishes can't take it... lost of appetite & died again... ROAR!!!



i really loves these shrimps! they never ever die! good boys! its rather fun to c how much they have grown by measuring their shedded shells, which r picked out from e bottom.

SEPT/OCT
mum, being a perfect old-fashionist, strongly feels that e deaths of e pets is a bad thing for e family, & she will apply her unorthodox 风水 practise to save e family! she knows nothing much bout geomancy, wherever got problem in e house, she will place e well-blessed, octagonal-shaped S$1 coin at that corner. same thing. she puts them in e tank! OMFG, e fish dies, e finger flies, ya, this time, mummy got e bullet...

NOV
everyday, sis will call home at regular hours to check on her fish... me & 二姐 will frequently check on e numbers. we tot that we had finally found e perfect fish rearing strategy, but... e fishes proved us wrong... somehow, e shrimps r real tough, like Nike series, All-Condition-Gear, no matter wat happens, they r still breathing.

after great depth of investigation, it was concluded that due to out irregular home-hours, e tank lights r not on, & e plants r not photosynthsizing enough & e fishes suffocated to death! so now dad got another new task! bet it muz be a real torture to be a pet in e Phua's family... y dun they juz jump out of e water to commit suicide & save us all e trouble? its quite tiring to figure out their cause of death..



DEC
happy me who finished his paper has finally returned home! its 6pm & time to on e lights for e fish tank! stunned when it din light up, called for sis, reported that e lights aren't working, & i tot i did a great deed. sis rushed home, me got screwed, cos i denied her tank 3 hrs of lights, that e switch now works on timer & will automatically switch on at 7pm & off at 12mn, me pressing that on/off button has disturbed her configuration! how e fuck i know sia! ROAR ROAR!



this stupid timer is well hidden in a corner...



next day... this little piece of paper is pasted over e switch button... ROAR ROAR ROAR!!! ask me anything bout fishkeeping now, i can write u a book.



how sad, took a pic of our abandoned tower on e 7th dec... & i'm still defending it... sob sob... e feeling sux to e core to be e last to finish e exam... i can't celebrate cos e rest would have well over spent on celebrations in e earlier dates.



back to my life! 'The Worlds Within' latest show by my fav. Song Hye Kyo in 2009 since 'Fullhouse' in 2005! DRAMA-MODE, disturb = death.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

thumbdrive



guess nothing beats e thumbdrive as a welcoming gift to all engineering kids of NTU... its juz simply so relevant to us... for example...

phua: eh fuck! u know how to derive e Euler's Formula not? siao liao...

boon hao: i tried 2 nites liao, cannot means cannot....

phua: den how? sure come out one leh... if u dunno... i can nv noe... kum kuku liao lor...

patrick: no worries! juz thumbdrive it, whole chunk from e notes, copy n paste in can liao!

boon hao: ok, steady! dun understand juz thumbdrive it! onz la!

phua: fuck la... i this week 3 paper sia... too many files liao, no space liao la!

patrick: can one, juz go clear all e older stuff!

phua: my mother's name?

yah... 'thumbdrive' is e new word in town... final yr liao... no such things like '打包' liao... dunno die die oso muz swallow... whoever dun have thumbdrive, i doubt he can even enter e uni door.

somehow... thinking back over e years of my exams attitude...

primary sch - 'mummy... 惨了啦,我 careless hor, 被扣五分了啦...'

secondary sch - 'juz do 10 years series can liao! do finish 10 years i dun get A1, i tok my own lan jiao cook you u eat!'

JC - 'wtf! i kana ulti den headshot by e paper la!' (its e prime days for Warcraft & Counter-Strike)

uni - 'hosei! december coming! 整题我包美美当作 christmas present 送回给他! i nv do, u no need to mark! steady rite!'

haha... somehow in army, i learned this phrase from my kuku trainer:

'if u dun cheat, i din try hard enuff!'

haha... juz a collection of cheating stuns over e past 24 years of my life! some i used, some i observed de!
  1. write in e inside of e eraser cover, e bigger e eraser, e more u can write!
  2. slide e writings under e instruction sheet of e calculator cover
  3. hide e cheat sheet in e sleeve of e windbreaker or right under e shirt in front of yr tummy
  4. place e cheat sheet under e exam table e evening before
  5. one of e most absurd that i had seen, e highlighter that comes wif 'post it', well written on e every of them n pasted them back in placed in e highlighter
  6. design n print a shirt of formulas n get e guy sitting in front of u to wear it!
  7. common toilet break for half-time discussion! often used by india's ahbunehneh, cos e invigilators dun understand wat e fuck they saying!
in year 2, for fluids paper, i saw this cock who brought in his own cheat sheet (5 x 5 cm), and yep he drop it to e floor, while trying to retrieve out from his windbreaker's pocket... chui-ed... end up he placed his feet over that small piece of paper, 20 cm off his table on e left, for e rest of e exam. LOL, cant rem, juz get a buy a bigger thumbdrive la!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

a busy week for me, for singapore



wah! its a damn busy week, with the APEC thingy for the country and exams for me!! haha, all e ministers have their nerves juz as tight up as mine! bet our dear defense minister n his army of the various chief-in-command of wat not all can finally sleep in peace once Obama get his ass on his Air Force One n out of our land! poor me! still kana haunted by engineering formulas, i dun mind if they r clear in my dreams, that means i studied n learned well! but they r simply juz so blur... sob sob...

no worries to all foreign leaders! wat's there to worry when hu jing tao brought Kungfu Panda to town and Obama sending in 250 secret agents, camping at the top of our skycrapers with their sniper rifles?



STOMP shd start e campaign, sponsored by e whitehouse, that if we get to capture a shot of these secret agents, we receive US$500, to check their competency of disguise and stealth! that's gonna be fun for us rite?

yep, 2 china's top breed of giant pandas as token of good frenship, r to be PR in singapore for e next 10 years, and that suddenly strike me to question, so wat do china send to countries as token for so-so frenship? small pandas?

anw, i still prefer e US styles... like kunfu panda! cute n inspiring... e real ones r rather boring... seen them in zoo... more like rocks with black spots, cant kick n fight, nor even do rolls on e floor... e cartoon one much better! i wonder if they will like it if we were to send lions to china... bet they even have lions with pink polka dots,that ours seem so... normal...

hmm if animal cant do e job... buy them food! treat hu jing tao to chicken rice? that's something tacky... wat if they claim that the Hainanese Chicken Rice is not singaporeans, but belonged to Hainan, and wants it back like they want taiwan? anw... i'm a pure breed hainanese (both parents of pure hainanese from Hainan), there's no hainanese chicken rice there... only 文乡鸡 which taste horrible!).




haha! that's why i prefer the americans!! 'Botak Jones' is my fav! wahaha! so localised!

Botak - Singlish
Jones - Ang Moh

so integrated! i simply trust e americans that they will never want to claim ownership of this!



hmm... wonder any european leaders who's in town this time round... y dun they bring EPL to all singaporeans and NOT JUST TO MIO TV SUBSCRIBERS, as a token of good frenship too? we dun go to zoo! so we no need animals! they look much more interesting on Discovery Channel!



mugging is crazy... our tower at lee wee nam is so easily under attack cos e army is always sleeping!! poor jayren... as e general of e tower defense, he has to defend it outside he's own territory...



haha! my pro-comm. team! topic: office sexual harassment. haha! we love harassing wei xiu!



took a break, 2-piece chicken meal with the buddy meal coupon! wootz! FINGER LICKING GOOD!

Monday, November 9, 2009

an unfair world



haha, in e midst of preparations for e 2nd last exam of mine, few things crop up, like finding jobs n kana pressured by FYP prof.. that i revisited some rules of mine... yep, somehow our lives r sadly filled wif limited choices, governed by the 3 Do's of life:

What I can do.
- the Realistic-Self

What I want to do.
- the Idealistic-Self

What I need to do.
- the Fabricated-Self

somehow, this 3 Do's simply juz contradicts in our lives, that we cant have all 3 of them at e same time, be it we like it a not. i can work, but i dun want to work but yet i need money, so i need to work, yet e job that i like doesn't pay me well, so e more i dread working, but i need e money cos i want to eat botak jones, so i do work that is high paying, with probs so hard to solve which huants me in my dreams in e middle of e night... bla bla bla

there's no way that i can find a job that i need to do nothing, but yet get paid for. we still have to make a choice rite? being e phua that u all know, my mia sia (名声,reputation) is of paramount. nothing is more important than that.

i'll choose to be e fabricated-self, even i dun like wat i'm doing. maybe i'm a born responsible boy, or maybe i juz wanna be viewed by others that i'm a responsible boy. nonetheless, regardless of e driving force, i choose wat i need to do.

doing wat i can do best, like watching drama, continously for days n nights, realistic? but i really want to juz lie on e bed in e air-con room n watch dramas, ideal? think about it, who e fuck in his rite mind would want to work? but we all have to rite? not as if my dad is Bill Gates, or my wife is some dubai princess that i can drink oil like water.. as much as i could, once i start working, get some cash, i'll want to travel around to see e world, maybe their moon really rounder... but i wun, cos i'll save e money to buy a car for e family, cos my parents r old, i need to provide them wif e comfort.

'with great power comes great responsibility' - peter parker (spiderman)



yep, so life is never really our choice... at e end of e day, we cant really tell wat's to be ahead of us, lucky i got all these 'Phua's Laws' to guide my life! 宁愿对不起自己,也不可对不起别人. when i was in yr 1, yali once said this to me, 'you think i like to talk to pple meh? its becos i have to ma, its part of e job of being a main commer..' - thanz, i really learned a lot.